have you ever heard of herbalife?
i hadn’t until this afternoon and what a life changing afternoon i had because of it …
a few days ago, the manager of my gym tells me that a new, health food place opened next door – he says they have awesome shakes for after a workout.
i’m like, “oh yeah? i love smoothie king!”
this is so awesome! i ask him what flavor he recommends.
cookies and cream.
not what i had in mind, i assumed he would say spinach, kale or seaweed, but my mother didn’t raise a fool - i don't disagree with people that tell me a cookies and cream shake is healthy.
normally, i don’t bring my wallet to the gym, but today i did … specifically to get one of these healthy cookie and cream milkshakes.
and, man! what a saturday workout i had! it was one of those workouts that was so intense i completely missed the euphoric exercise high and went immediately to the pooped and grouchy phase.
the light at the end of my intense workout tunnel was the cookies and cream milkshake. i thought about it the entire time ...
finally! finally! i did my last bicep curl, gathered my belongings, said good by to the people in the gym and was heading next door!
when another gym employee calls after me, “i’m coming with!”
i found this odd. i mean, we chit chat occasionally, but we’re nowhere close to being milkshake sharing friends.
and, remember, i’m still grouchy at this point. the shake, my couch and bad reality tv are the only things i want to deal with. making small talk with someone i barely know is not on my radar.
but, she really is a sweet girl … BLAH BLAH BLAH … i can’t say no … BLAH BLAH BLAH. so, we head together, two storefronts over and immediately, though, just a few feet away from the gym, the entire vibe dramatically shifts.
there’s an ecliptic mix of people standing in the parking lot – like, either bodybuilder types or people with noticeable health ailments and they all are come over to hug my new found bff.
i chalk up my negatively inclined observations to exhaustion. you know when you make an excuse as to why you should doubt yourself? my intuition was giving me a heads up that something was about to go down, but i just pushed that feeling down and blamed my grouchy mood for any doubt.
and, here’s where it all starts …
i pull open the unassuming glass door to be greeted by people yelling (yelling!!!), “HEEELLLLO! WELCOME TO HERBALIFE!!” followed by an arrangement of cheers and yelps.
not sure if it was that greeting or the neon green walls or the blaring techno music, but i quickly realized that this was not going to be no dairy cream milkshake.
the gym employee and i mosey up to the herbalife bar, where she is again greeted by more hugs and embraces.
and, despite my foul mood, there's no denying their excitement was contagious.
as soon as i sat down, a handsome young man that reminded me of my younger brother, victor, gets close in my face and says, “are you tired? you are tired! how do you sleep? you do NOT sleep well!”
a group of people slowly surrounded us all mumbling the same sort of musings about my lack of sleep.
the first few minutes this went on, i politely protested and attempted to correct them. i have never had a sleep issue in my entire life. as a matter of fact, i almost sleep too much. as my father and his father before him, i can sleep on command (day or night). my forefathers told me it was a sign of a clear conscious. i’ve deeply prided myself on this clear conscious.
but, these people adamantly continued that i don’t sleep well.
then i started thinking about that time … when was it now??? about 2 weeks ago when i thought i awoke at 2 in the morning because scully was barking at a possum outside our backdoor, but maybe i would have woken up regardless of scully’s insistent barking … it was probably just an odd coincidence that scully was barking when i woke up.
and, a couple months before that, essie had a fever in the middle of the night and i woke up to give her medicine. it was hard to get back to sleep, i thought it was because i’m a concerned parent, but now they got me thinking and …
i caved. they convinced me. i suffer from infrequent insomnia, but insomnia nonetheless.
after only 10 minutes of being in the cookies and cream milkshake joint, they not only opened my eyes to my sleep issues, but they diagnosed ted with sleep apnea! (it’s not the beer that makes him snore, it’s the full on, mask-wearing-sleep apnea that he suffers from)
this was intense.
to ease my nerves, they handed me an aloe beverage – the aloe was to give me energy, rev up my metabolism and assist in digestion.
they continued talking and within minutes, the magical aloe beverage took full effect.
the workout blues were long gone, and there i was hugging and laughing and you better believe that nobody hooped and hollered more loudly than i when that front door opened!
i don't recall if they ever told me what their solution to my sleep issues would be, but i feared none. these enthusiastic people were healers and gained all my confidence.
before i could even finish the aloe beverage, without a word, they whisked it out of my hands and asked what flavor tea i wanted.
tea? peach? i dunno.
they mixed the remaining of my aloe beverage in with some herbal peach tea. i would tell you the benefits of that tea, but the list is way too long for this post. we would be here forever.
my original group continued their discussion over my insomniatic ways when i decided to venture to another group.
did i mention that there were young men playing rugby on the other side of the bar? well, there were …
and, one thing led to another and i’m pretty sure that i signed manning up for a life of rugby and (of course!) i’m team mom (for life)! while the fellows were playing rugby their coach talked to me all about rugby and he had no doubt that manning would be natural!
(the coach is the one that introduced his team to the cookies and cream milkshake place … to bring health and happiness to their young lives)
my original group was getting worried that i wasn’t taking my health issues seriously, came over and dragged me back over to their side of the bar.
i looked at the time – i had been there for over an hour! really needed to get going … i had easter errands to run and to pick francis up from the airport, but i had an aloe beverage, herbal tea … where was my cookies and cream milkshake?!?
and, just when i was about to panic (why would i ever doubt these glorious people?) they brought me the most scrumptious cookies and cream shake i have ever laid eyes on.
i couldn’t leave now! i couldn’t drink that masterpiece alone … i wanted to be surrounded by my people.
the shake was thick; it wasn’t something you could chug.
it seemed everyone there understood that and while i was in my euphoric state of drinking my long awaited shake … they started with a sermon of sorts on the herbalife products.
sounds like a buzz kill? you couldn’t be further from the truth. it was pure inspiration.
i don’t need a therapist, or a gym or even my family … i need some form of herbalife in my life.
before i walk out the door.
the group consulted one last time and it was unanimously decided that the product for me was:
it “produces nitric oxide to support energy, vascular and circulatory health”
and, the best part?
it would only take a weeks worth of work to pay for it!
a deal, no sane person could refuse.
i bought it. never a question asked.
i hugged everyone good bye … a few of my close friends even ruffled my dirty, little ponytail and i was off with a renewed outlook on life!
there was no need for me to have ever worried about lack of time because when i left there, i went to publix and what would normally have taken me a half hour to find in the grocery store, only took 5 minutes! i was in and out!
what did slow me down a tad was that i knew and talked to everyone in the grocery store!! normally, i can’t remember why i recognize people and to make myself feel better i chalk it up to knowing them in a past life, but not today.
the substitute coordinator from the neighborhood elementary school that i met once over 7 years ago? saw and remembered her! she had that confused look that i normally reserve for when people from long ago strike conversation with me … i just leaned in, hugged her and whispered in her ear, “herbalife” and continued on my hyper way.
remember the old lady in the movie, what about mary? that was me!!
i bought bouquets and bouquets of carnations for everyone … my neighbors, my sister in law … myself!
the thing is, i have long despised carnations.
at my grandfather’s funeral, the funeral attendants passed out carnations for everyone to place on his casket, but i spotted that 4 lucky relatives received white roses. i pushed, punched and kicked past relatives and pried one of those roses from my grandmother's hand to place on my grandfather's casket. he was a man worth more than a lousy carnation. (this is the truth, i didn’t know how to explain my behavior, so i sheepishly said to those that witnessed the small battle, “i’ve been in miami too long” – no idea what i meant by that, but it smoothed things over as far as i was concerned).
herbalife made me see the beauty in carnations.
this is a game changer.
not sure what else to say, but hours later, it only took me 8 minutes to write this entire post.
herbalife for life.